HOW I QUIT MY SPENDING ADDICT HABITS COLD TURKEY

At this point in my life, spending habits are one of my favorite topics to discuss. I’ve worked diligently now for the past 2 years to turn my financial situation into something that works for me, not against me, and I can confidently say that I am SO proud of where I’m at, and where I am going.

If you read my blog post about getting laid off unexpectedly, then you’ve already heard me mention how I had no savings set aside for a rainy day.

A rainy day that my mom always told me to save for, but I brushed her off because I had better things to do than save my money. Like buy clothes, shoes, cheap handbags, you name it. If Nordstrom, Forever 21, or H&M sold it, I most likely bought it.

I can remember shopping from a very young age. It was me and my mom’s favorite thing to do: drive to Nordstrom and check out the new arrivals. What outfits could we buy? What new purses did Dooney & Bourke or Juicy Couture come out with? This retail therapy of sorts was my ultimate high.

Nothing compared to the feeling of a new outfit.

Though I do still believe I am unstoppable in a new outfit I adore, and thank my mother for instilling my love for fashion at a very young age…I am definitely working hard at righting the wrongs I carried out in my early 20’s when I finally had my own source of income. My spending habits have shifted dramatically, and I thought it would be a good time to share since we’re in the midst of tax season – everyone’s favorite topic 😉

Let me paint the picture for you so that you can see where I’m coming from with all of this.

All throughout college, and about a year afterwards, I worked at Nordstrom in San Diego. It was the perfect storm: I had an employee discount to my favorite store, and I spent 50+ hours a week around 100’s of name brands. Not to mention the stores that await me outside the doors in the mall where I took my lunch break everyday; it wasn’t unusual for me to pick up a new top or a new pair of shoes because I *had* to have them.

My spending habits were so bad that it even caused fights with my college boyfriend at the time. I even resorted to hiding my purchases because I was so nervous about the controversy they would stir up, yet I wouldn’t stop myself from spending. I used to get frustrated because I told myself “he had no right to tell me what to do with my money,” but honestly, a lot of my good saving and spending habits today stem from the things he used to try to instill in me. Silver lining, you could say.

What I’ve come to terms with in battling with my spending habits in my later 20’s is that it’s hard to be good with money when you didn’t grow up talking about money in a way that wasn’t scary.

As a kid, I grew up with two successful parents, both bringing in a significant income. As soon as the recession hit, things did a complete 180.

My new harsh reality was that things were changing, and sacrifices were being made. As a kid I didn’t really get it – why were things different now? Why do they feel scary? Tensions were high, and suddenly spending money was an intense topic in our household.

I grew up being told credit cards were only a bad idea*, and “saving for a rainy day” was the only advice I got on how to save money (which meant literally nothing to me until I got laid off AKA my rainy day finally came in a big way), and it all just felt really stressful.

It wasn’t until I was introduced to the idea that there is such a thing as a “money mindset” and you can either believe in scarcity or abundance, that I realized I had a bad relationship with money. I was spending money as a means to make myself feel happier, more complete. I thought spending my money would make me want for less, when it really just made me want for more. My spending habits were just that – a bad habit I couldn’t kick.

I didn’t want to have a bad relationship with money, I mean who does? It was just how I turned out after being raised how I was. The conversations surrounding money throughout might life weren’t what I needed to feel confident in my spending habits, saving habits, or investing habits. In fact – the only habits I had were spending. The other two weren’t even in my vocabulary.

FULL TRANSPARENCY – in October 2017 I went from making $70k/year at my marketing job to making essentially $0 overnight. My only means for income came from whatever I could make through my blog at the time + unemployment ($400ish every 2 weeks, which is the max I believe). I had 2 credit cards, both of which had about $2500 of debt on them when I got laid off ($5,000 limits on each), $20k in student loans, about $1000 “saved,” and just enough money for rent the next month.

When I got laid off I went into fight or flight mode; I deferred my student loan payment, froze my Classpass membership, put subscriptions on hold, and mentally prepared to rack up credit card debt in this new season of being unemployed. I told myself that it would be okay to charge things and at the end of the day I wouldn’t go hungry and wouldn’t be homeless. It would be okay and I would pay off whatever debt I incurred during this time eventually. My credit cards were my backup plan (*I do believe that this IS when credit cards are a bad idea).

Fast forward to when I finally got another job 3 months later. I hadn’t put a single dollar on either credit card, I had managed to make the same monthly salary through my blog without even realizing it, and I had actually saved money.

The only thing I did differently was I stopped shopping cold turkey, and limited all of my dining out to only a few times a month/for special occasions.

This rainy day was the reality check I needed to see that “no, I don’t in fact need another plain white tee because I haven’t quite found the perfect one after 8 other purchase attempts, or another pair of black booties because these ones are totally different from the other 4 I have, or the fashion jewelry that was going to tarnish or break within weeks of wearing it but it’s fine because it’s on trend and $15 isn’t going to make or break me.”

Once I realized my shopping habits were not justified, and were honestly just erratic behavior, it became black and white.

Once my money was allocated for eating and rent ONLY, and there was nothing allocated to frivolous spending, it all became so much more clear.

Today I can say that I get more enjoyment from moving $1000 into my savings account than I do from buying a new outfit.

In fact, I get more enjoyment from purging my closet to sell items on Poshmark than I do when I’m adding new items into it. I honestly never thought I’d see the day.

And let me tell you – there is nothing more gratifying than seeing your student loan amount drop down by the thousands when you throw extra money at it instead of into your closet.

I know not everyone’s situation is similar to mine, and I really hope that it doesn’t take you getting laid off to find out saving is important, so here are a few other actionable items that will hep you kick your own detrimental spending habits!

10 Things You Can Start Today

1. Change the relationship you have with shopping/your clothes. Purge your closet to see what you REALLY need to be buying. Take inventory of what you wear frequently, what you haven’t touched in over 6 months, and what needs replacing – once you rediscover items you have hiding in there, you will be open to the idea of “shopping your closet” instead of buying something new for every event that comes your way. This will help you start to visualize the pieces you own with a different level of importance – if you KNOW what you have in your closet, you won’t find yourself blindly purchasing items when you’re out and about that you “forgot you had something so similar to.” Become an intentional shopper as opposed to an erratic shopper.

2. Create additional income for yourself by starting a Poshmark account. I have made thousands of dollars selling my clothes on this app, and it’s free! You don’t need to have a “platform” to be successful – the app is FULL of people looking for good deals, and if you label your pieces accordingly (and take bright, easy to see photos of the pieces) the items will sell. The more income you can create aside from your guaranteed salary will be money you can use to pay off debt or set aside in a savings account – it will hurt a little less if it’s “additional” income as opposed to your typical paycheck that already feels tight each week.

3. Find an app that helps you sort through your expenses. Making a budget can sound daunting, but if you use something like Mint that hooks up to your bank account and categorizes your spending habits for you, it’s easier to absorb. Find out where you’re spending frivolously (coffee runs, that online subscription you forgot about, the gym membership you don’t necessarily use right now), and make a plan to put things on pause until you’re in a better financial position.

4. Start saving tiny amounts with an app like Digit that automatically saves a few dollars for you with every purchase. The dollars add up, and they’re not very noticeable being taken from your bank account sporadically in such small amounts. This can be your “rainy day” account that you don’t even have to think about until you need those new tires you didn’t plan for this month.

5. Start talking about money with your peers. If you find out how your friends are saving, investing, & viewing money, it will help the topic seem more manageable. Discussing spending habits is challenging at first, but it should become a normal conversation to have with those who are close to you.

6. Make baby steps towards learning how to invest. Once you’ve built up a few thousand in savings, try out an app like Robinhood that makes it very easy to buy and sell stocks. It’s a great way to introduce yourself to the stock market jargon that often times deters us from even talking about investing, and it’s a really easy-to-digest way to learn about stocks in general. It’s a great idea to have a friend who can be someone you talk to about this app (and investing in general) as well – my friend Viktor is always teaching me things about investments and why he’s doing what he’s doing. Again, it makes the topic less scary knowing you have a peer who can explain it to you in a way that makes sense to you (sometimes).

7. Set goals and reward yourself without remorse. After about 1.5 years of shopping detox, I have finally come to the point in my life where I am confident enough with my savings account, investment habits, and income that I feel confident when it comes to dropping money on big purchases. It took me YEARS to buy my first designer handbag, which was at the top of my “wishlist.” I was always in the position where I had literally nothing saved, so if I finally had “enough” money for a bag – I’d be spending every dollar in my savings account. Not smart, obviously. Now that I’ve worked diligently at throwing money into my savings and at any debt I have, spending on myself feels less reckless. I’ve also been doing a lot of work on my money mindset – instead of having “buyer’s remorse” for purchasing a big ticket item for myself, I’m looking at it as a reward for all of my hard work and dedication to saving. Investing in items that get more valuable with time is better than spending hundreds on fast fashion that you will get rid of a month after buying it.

8. Adopt a side-hustle that earns you extra income you can throw at your debts or savings account. My blog has been making me extra income for 3 years now, but it wasn’t until June of 2018 that I was finally making a substantial salary for my lifestyle in LA. That being said, having my blog while also maintaining a full time job was the way I was able to build up a significant savings account which set me up for success when I was ready to start blogging full time. Now that I am fully self-employed, I am also always looking for consulting options, modeling gigs, commission earning opportunities, and anything to earn a few extra bucks so I can either invest it, knock out a big chunk of my student loans, or save it.

9. Find a credit card that rewards you, and pay it off in full every month. Like I mentioned above, credit cards were bad in my household. But after having my Chase Sapphire Reserve card – my opinions have completely shifted. Paying off a credit card in full monthly with money you have in your checking account is completely different than racking up credit card debt and spending “money” you don’t actually have in your checking account. Thanks to the Chase Sapphire Reserve (great sign up bonus and triple points on travel and dining), we were able to fund a major amount of our honeymoon. I also haven’t paid a single dollar in interest fees because I pay it off monthly. Credit cards, when used correctly, are a great resource and should not be feared.

10. Think about where you want to be in 5-10 years. Do you want to have a closet full of “nothing to wear?” Do you want to be a slave to your credit card minimum payments because you couldn’t possibly pay them off in full? Do you want to be living in fear of that so called rainy day? OR, do you want to own a house? Do you want to be debt free? Do you want to be driven by saving your money and investing it, or driven by making enough money to make end’s meet and pay your bills? Do you want to travel, save for your future children’s education, enjoy going out with friends? Or do you want to be a prisoner to your student loans? All of these questions are things that go through my head almost daily when I think about spending money. I have to realign my goals DAILY, because if I don’t, then I lose sight of the bigger picture. I want to own my own home, I want to travel with my family, I want to be comfortable financially, and I don’t want to be scared of money. These things are all possible, you just have to set your sights on what matters to you now, and what will matter to you in the future. Buy books that help you rework your mindset (like this one), that start from square one to teach you what you wish you knew years ago (like this one), or ones that just kind of light a fire in you with the thought of being a millionaire (like this one). Listen to podcasters like Dave Ramsey who teach you about the Debt Snowball Method. Research what it means to set up your own 401k or IRA. Educate yourself. Ask questions. Be curious, and be dedicated to growth. Both mentally, and financially.

11. Bonus: be accepting of earning money. I think for a while I had the thought in my head that I wasn’t worthy of being financially comfortable. Or that it was a voodoo topic to talk about being successful and reaching your financial goals. But this narrative we tell ourselves is just that – it’s our narrative, and it can be retold in different ways daily. Just decide how you want your narrative to go, and start living and breathing it daily. Tell yourself that you ARE worthy of making money, you ARE good at saving, you WILL pay off your student loans, and that you are working towards those goals daily. You DON’T need that new pair of shoes, and those jeans look just like the other 9 pairs you have in your closet. Chances are, you’ll forget about whatever it is you’re contemplating buying in that moment within hours – and if you’re still thinking about it days later, let that item be your reward for whatever goals you’re setting and achieving for yourself.

Money doesn’t have to be scary, or hard, or controlling. It’s not a bad thing, it doesn’t have to be dirty, it doesn’t have to be painful.

You get to make money work for you. You get to control it, you get to earn it, and you get to use it in a way that will only lift you up and set you up for success in multiple areas of your life.

Don’t be discouraged; it’s never too late to start. Wherever you are in your financial journey is exactly where you’re supposed to be, because you’re learning. And if you hadn’t thought about it until this blog post, well, today’s the first day of your new financial narrative.

Enjoy 🙂