Let’s Talk Relationships

The topic of relationships is something I’ve contemplated writing about for a long time. Fun fact, I actually wrote this post on February 7, 2020, and finally got the courage to post it! Can you tell I’m going through my notes app this week and finally getting the content out that I’ve kept to myself?

You wouldn’t know it by my social media, but talking about relationships is tied for first when it comes to my favorite topics (along with social media). I could talk about relationships for hours. Days. Weeks.

In fact, if you meet me in person, chances are I will get you talking about relationships at some point – whether it’s intentional and I ask you a direct question about your experience, or I say something about a past relationship of my own in passing that sparks a deeper conversation, chances are it will come up. I find that you can learn so much about a person in such a short amount of time by talking about their relationships (romantic, family, friends).

There’s no doubt that relationship talk is something I’m deeply passionate about. 

I’ve never really known where to start when it comes to writing about it though. Partly because I’ve had a lot of different romantic relationships in my life so I’m not quite sure which to expand on, and partly because the details aren’t fully just mine to share. Some of my past relationships bring up really painful memories, some really sweet memories, and some memories that weirdly have their own way of haunting me to this day – not in a bad way, they’re just…there, ya know?

Relationships are so special. They’re delicate, passionate, painful, exciting, soul-giving, and heart-wrenching. They are so many things all in one, and I don’t think anyone will ever truly be an expert. Sure…we’ll get better as time goes on (hopefully) but humans are intricate souls. Managing yourself can be a shit show – throw another counterpart into the mix and you can guarantee it won’t be smooth sailing all the time. 

But that’s what makes them so magical. They make you feel. 

Sometimes they’re good feelings, sometimes not so good. But either way, they ignite something within you that is sure to impact & change who you were, and get you one step closer to who you are growing into.

I recently (back in 2020 when I wrote this lol) put up a question box on my instagram story asking for blog topic suggestions. 

To my sweet surprise, someone asked about relationships. 

It made me really excited – my favorite topic, of course I want to write about it! But then I started to think about what I would write about and got a little nervous. 

I’ve always been a “relationships person.” I kid you not, I could tell you the name of the boy I had a crush on in Preschool. Michael was his name. I have not a clue what he looks like, or who he is or where he is – but I have memories of him being my “crush” even at that age. Isn’t that weird?! I was honestly never the girl that though boys had cooties. 

But I was the girl who wasn’t allowed to have a boyfriend until high school – minus the 2-week boyfriend I had in 7th grade, but we just talked through hand written notes so I’m not sure if I can call that a relationship exactly. 

Anyways – I’ve had 4 deeply significant long-term relationships in my life since I was a freshman in high school, and a few shorter ones sprinkled in between that were special in their own ways.

I’ve had my heart completely crushed to the point of what I thought was no return, I’ve been cheated on, I’ve been the secret girl, I’ve experienced emotional and physical abuse, I’ve done the heart breaking, I’ve gone through years of trying to make something right but at the end of the day, it just wasn’t going to be no matter how hard we tried, and I’ve experienced the kind of unconditional love that made me finally understand why everyone used to tell me “it isn’t supposed to be this hard.” 

Every relationship was so uniquely important to my development and I am so thankful I was able to learn what I did from each and every one of them. 

I guess I’m telling you all of these things for a few reasons. 

I’d like to first candidly say that no relationship is the end of the world. Looking back I wish I had this kind of clarity when I was in the thick of the worst of times that I couldn’t see a way out of at that time. Isn’t it crazy that our relationship with another human is enough to completely derail everything in our own life? Even if it is all just in our heads…the end of a relationship can truly feel like the end of life as you know it. 

And sure…for a while it might be. And it’s okay to cry. Cry a lot. Let it all out, because it’s better out than it is in. 

And unfortunately, there is NO remedy for heartache. It’s the worst pain we face in this life, and the only one with no true “cure.” You have to work on it every single day, and eventually the pain starts to ease…but it’s not easy. 

I think what I’m most passionate about when it comes to talking about relationships is when I come across girls who feel stuck. Maybe they’ve been with their significant other for a few years now and it’s not bad but it’s not great…they can’t really say what’s wrong, but they know deep down that it’s just not right. It’s especially hard when said significant other hasn’t necessarily done anything “warranting a breakup,” so it’s even harder to justify the negative feelings. But deep down, you know. Something’s off. You deserve more. 

From a girl with lots of experience in this category – there’s a reason you’re feeling this way. If there’s something eating away at your subconscious, telling you that it’s not right…you need to tap into that feeling, that voice, that gut instinct – and you need to listen to it. Even if it takes you a while to build up the courage to act on it…at least sit with it every day and figure out why you might be feeling this way. 

Though it’s hard to end a relationship, you are entitled to your own idea of your best life. If you are not living your best life everyday, and part of that comes from the person you are sharing it with…then what is the point???? You have ONE life to live, and there are MILLIONS of other humans who are also looking for a companion to make incredible memories with! Why in the world do you think you are required to stay in a relationship that is just sucking the life from you, instead of giving it to you? 

I would love to be the first to tell you that as soon as you say no to the things that are not meant for you, or that may be bringing you down, the things that you can start saying yes to are life-changing. 

Once you stop resisting the change that is meant to happen in your life, you will be mind-blown at the life that unfolds in front of you. Things will start falling into place, you will feel alignment like you never have before, and the weight that was on your chest will be lifted. Maybe not overnight, but trust the process – you will continue to evolve into the person you are meant to be, doing the things you were meant to do, and it will be the most beautiful thing you’ve experienced (even if it is simultaneously the hardest).

Second of all – I want to know what it is that you’d maybe like to discuss? 

Being a resource to you is my #1 goal. Whether it’s help with an outfit for an upcoming event, a recipe link to something you saw me cook on IG, a home decor find that doesn’t break the bank – I want to be your go-to. Your online bff. 

If you are in a relationship – or you aren’t in a relationship – and want to talk to someone…I want to lend a helping hand in any way that I can. 

It’s hard for me to start off this “relationship” talk online because I honestly have lot to say. Most of it I probably shouldn’t say, but hey – this is a start, right? 

So if there’s something specific you’d like to read about, or even just email privately about rather than have it as a blog post topic – I’m here, and I’d love to talk. 

Trust me when I say I have a lot of past experience, good and bad, and I’m an open book. I’m also NOT here to judge anything at all. Because hey hi hello, we were probably in the same exact boat at some point.