What I Learned While Wedding Planning

If you followed me through my wedding journey, then you know my favorite type of wedding blog post was raw, unfiltered, and typically the unpopular opinions. I wasn’t emotional while buying a wedding dress, I was overwhelmed by the thought of planning everything on our own, and I was more excited about my work everyday vs checking something off of my wedding to-do list. I was quite the anti-bride looking back on it.

Now that I’ve been married for a year, I can absolutely say that I do miss the engagement process. It was such a special, fleeting time. The memories of the stress of planning have disappeared, and all that remains emotionally in my memory are the happy feelings I had. It’s definitely a time to embrace, even if you’re like me, hating every part of the planning process.

I think I’m going to let this blog post be more of a stream of consciousness / journal entry because there are so many random things I learned along the way that I never put into words on the blog. Though COVID has made wedding planning look a hell of a lot different than it was when I was planning in 2019, I still want to share my raw thoughts with you if you’re new to this and are thinking “wtf” at every corner like I was.

If you’re planning on your own, or working with a planner, there are so many things I had NO idea about until I got to them. Naturally; it was very much a “fake it til you make it” type of situation.

My goal with this post is to help you get there quicker than I did; some go without saying, and some may be nearly impossible with COVID, but truth be told I started this blog post back in 2019 and just never hit publish, so I’m going to maintain my original thoughts and add new ones as I go 🙂

• Book your MUA in advance – this was the first thing I did after I knew where and when we were getting married. Glam books out so far in advance that your dream MUA may already be booked, or traveling on your date, so don’t wait on this!! Same goes for hairstylist. PRO TIP: if you want to splurge on your own MUA but your bridesmaids want a more affordable option, hire multiple artists. My hair stylists also provided makeup, which ended up being perfect for whoever wanted their makeup done.

• Even if you’re not engaged now, start looking at venues online and realistically thinking of when you want to get married – depending on the venue you choose, you could be looking at a 1.5 waiting list for your “perfect date” so plan accordingly. Brennan and I went into this process with our “ideal date” in mind, and it turned out that NO VENUE we looked at had it available. And we were even looking more than a year out, and still – nothing. Your chances are higher if you’re looking at a private estate/DIY venue, but for any popular venues, expect to find out that lots of Saturday’s will already be taken really far in advance.

• Which leads me to: don’t be picky about your date – we quickly realized that we just had to choose our ideal venue and let them tell us what dates were available. We also didn’t initially think we’d get married on a Friday, but it saves money and gives people traveling long distances more time to enjoy the area after the wedding ends on Saturday and Sunday. We were also told that getting married on a Thursday is becoming more popular and saves a TON more money, so don’t be scared at being unconventional with your date. Sure, people might be annoyed about taking work off…but if they want to be there – they will find a way; and you will stick to your budget. With COVID this is especially true – I wouldn’t be surprised if Monday – Thursday weddings become more of a thing as 2020 brides try to rebook venues for 2021 and beyond.

• DUMB MISTAKE – Don’t order enough Save the Dates for everyone on your list. (Even if you’re working with an “A list / B list” type of thing – at that point, the B list will just get invites anyways because it will be too late in the game to send a “save the date”…you’ll just be sending them invites). I mindlessly ordered 150 save the dates for the 150 people we had on our list. Buuuut I didn’t realize that really it was closer to 90 save the dates and their +1’s. So now I have about 60 save the dates just chillin 🙂

• The dress should be one of the first things you decide on. Giving yourself 6-8 months for delivery, and then a few weeks for alterations to be done is the safest route. Especially if you want to avoid rush fees. I really pushed it with this one since I was being a little apprehensive on making a decision. I honestly BARELY missed the timing cutoff, and you don’t need to add that stress to your life!

• Splurging on the dress may feel really stupid in the moment, but getting your dream dress is an incredible feeling when people ask what dress you ended up choosing. There’s no greater feeling than you thinking to yourself, you got THE dress. I was struggling with this for a while and even after pulling the trigger I was still feeling a little uneasy due to the price tag – but now, when people ask me about it…my heart fills up and my stomach fills with butterflies. I am OBSESSED with my dress and I cannot wait to wear it. If it’s truly out of budget, you can resell it afterwards to try and get some money back!

• • Like I mentioned – I started this post before our wedding. Now that I’ve gone through the wedding and I’ve worn the dress, I can 100% say I am SO HAPPY that I got the dress of my dreams. I have truly never felt more gorgeous; truly felt like a queen all day.

• Don’t stress over the little details like the more expensive envelopes for your save the dates. When was the last time you analyzed mail for the envelope it came in? Or the font someone wrote your address in? Chances are you rip it open and throw it in the trash. If you’re on a budget, save your pennies for bigger things like your dream gown.

• Even if you feel like “you don’t need anything,” having registry items lets those that cannot make it to the wedding feel like they can still celebrate if they choose to send you a gift but aren’t actually coming to the wedding. And if you’re really anti-registry, do a Honeyfund where you can get some cash to do fun experiences on your honeymoon together! Plus, it’s so fun to have items in your kitchen or housethat you can say “we got this from our wedding!” It just makes them that more special.

• Do your best to communicate with your fiancé about what you need help on. Brennan was 100% involved with the entire process, but when I sat and let myself get overwhelmed with my to-do list and didn’t voice that anxiety to him, it just built up because he had no way of knowing I needed help. He played a huge role in addressing the save-the-dates because there were so many addresses coming from his end of the guest list, and he was on it! All it took was me saying that I needed his help with it. Simple as that.

• Don’t be afraid to be unconventional in anything you want to do on your day. ESPECIALLY now that COVID is changing so many “typical” wedding practices. My wedding dress was totally unconventional, the ring(s) I got aren’t what I would call traditional, and when it came down to the little details – I knew there were going to be a ton of little things that I put my own spin on. It’s your day, do whatever you think sounds magical. This also goes for elopement plans or however you decide you want to get married. I know some girls that want to go to the courthouse and then just have a reception, I know girls that want to elope in another country, I know some girls that just want the courthouse thing and really awesome photos in a cool location; my brother got married on the beach and we planned it all in under a month! Whatever you think sounds like you and your fiancé, do that. And if you’re not having a wedding but want a registry, do that too! In my opinion, there are no rules. You don’t have to be traditional if it doesn’t feel right to you.

• SPEAK UP. If you don’t ask, you won’t receive. Be extremely meticulous and make sure you’re 100% clear on what’s happening, when & where. I’ll go into where I went wrong with this in my next post; there’s lots of things that sort of still haunt me that went wrong in my eyes on our wedding day, but I need another post for that 😉

COVID BRIDES! What are your plans? Postponing until next year? Courthouse? Zoom wedding? I want to know all the details! Comment below xx