Why I Finally Hired a Wedding Planner

I have written this blog post 1000 times in my head since we started planning our wedding back in October.

The amount of DMs I received when we got engaged saying “you’re going to LOVE wedding planning!”, and the amount of questions I get in person still to this day that, without fail, start with “Are you loving wedding planning?! I LOVED planning mine, you must be having SO MUCH FUN!!!” ss almost laughable at this point. Some of you even became a wedding planner you loved it so much! I commend you, but I can’t relate.

For a while I was struggling, you guys.

I thought something was wrong with me – why didn’t I like wedding planning? Was I fooling myself? Maybe I DID like it, I just didn’t realize it? Or if in fact I didn’t…was that a bad thing?

The questions even kept me up at night in the beginning.

I never really used to think I would like it necessarily. There were plenty of times I used to daydream about being engaged and the thought of planning an entire wedding turned me off – but I was always still excited to get married. I guess, it’s always mostly been about that part. I just can’t wait to finally be at the wedding, having fun, as a married couple.

After 4 grueling months of searching for our wedding venue (that’s another post all on its own), I still didn’t feel an ounce of relief. Instead I felt MORE pressure because now that the hardest part was done, there were a million other tiny parts that had to be put into motion almost immediately.

The feeling of excitement for planning still wasn’t there, and I started to freak out a little bit inside.

Thankfully, my angel of a friend Rebecca recommended I get coffee and chat with herself and her dear friend Ali who is a wedding planner and owner of Love and Laughter Events.

For months I was telling myself I don’t need a wedding planner, I don’t need a wedding planner – it’s not in the budget and I have no excuses – I work from home!!! I can do this stuff by myself, I just need to set aside time everyday.

But you know what??? I don’t have the time, actually. And once I finally admitted to myself that working on my business everyday was more of priority to me than researching the best vendors, negotiating pricing, figuring out what I was missing – that’s when the weight was lifted off my shoulders.

I don’t need to be the business owner who also pulls together an entire wedding single handedly – and I don’t know why I ever thought I needed to be that in the first place.

After having lunch with Rebecca and Ali it felt like God hand-delivered the solution to all of my wedding woes on a silver platter.

It didn’t take much time for me to realize I needed Ali in my life, and so did my wedding.

She 100% understood my aesthetic, my budget needs, and was on board with negotiating with vendors in exchange for any social media exposure they were comfortable with in exchange for somewhat of a discount.

And I am going to be transparent with you guys – I didn’t hire a planner for the first few months because it wasn’t in the budget. Brennan and I are funding a decent amount of this wedding, and I just didn’t have the cash to hire one.

Ali – for so many reasons – is truly my angel because she was willing to plan my wedding for a discounted rate in exchange for social coverage throughout our experience together so that I was able to make it a priority in my budget.

I know that’s not always the case and I don’t want you to think that a wedding planner isn’t a viable option if you’re working with a low budget – but I will say that there are options out there even if you don’t have way of working with someone for trade in each other services. Everything is always negotiable, and all it takes is a simple, honest conversation of budget needs and what you can do for each other. Even if it’s a payment plan that may be different than their typical offer, anything helps.

Ali is doing Partial Planning and Day-Of Coordination for me.

Since we already had our venue, photographer, rentals and menus decided on, her biggest tasks are nailing down the DJ, Florist, and Videographer.

What I really love about Ali’s insight is that she’s already been through her own wedding as well; it helps so much having someone who is married and has the in’s & out’s of so many other weddings to sit there and tell you that something is or isn’t important or remind you of something you didn’t even think about.

I’ve also learned a lot about myself as I approach a year of self-employment. I have strengths, and I have weaknesses…just like we all do. And when you can sit down and say to yourself “it’s okay, this just isn’t your strong suit” and move on from it, amazing things happen.

I’ve realized that I need people to micromanage me on certain things so I stay on track with deadlines. I now know that the thought of planning big events with a lot of details stresses me out to the point of overwhelm and procrastination. I’ve also realized that I am much more motivated to get things done when I have someone in my corner helping me along the way.

Ali does the behind-the-scenes communication and negotiation, and then presents the need-to-know information on an email for me to choose what option I like best. She also sorts through contracts (which is so huge!), advises on payment schedules, and keeps me on track with what I need to be doing on my own (save the dates, invites etc). Also, can we talk about this mood board she sent over to me? MY WEDDING DAY DREAMS COMING TRUE.

I can honestly say that if you are even slightly overwhelmed with your big day, first of all – THAT’S NORMAL. I’m not here to tell you that you should be loving the process or be completely obsessed with wedding planning. I’m here to tell you what no one told me…and that is that it’s okay to FREAKING HATE PLANNING YOUR WEDDING!!!!

I honestly think you’re more normal if it stresses you out because when tf are you spending THIS MUCH $$ on ONE DAY?!?!?! Hello, I would love to throw my savings at my future house – not my wedding – tysm.

But after seeing Hannah’s wedding come together in Sweden this past weekend, I can also say that it will be 100% worth it to be in a place with everyone you love most, celebrating, dancing, having the time of your life – it is magical to see everyone come together to start your next chapter off together by singing your praises.

SO far, my best advice (other than to hire Ali for your wedding) is to just try your best to ignore the stressful details, know that money will come and go for the rest of your life and this just so happens to be a spending year, and that at the end of it all – you’re going to have the best day ever.

If you have planned a wedding, are just now starting to plan a wedding, or have any thoughts on planning a wedding (good or bad!) comment below so we can talk about it 🙂