Wedding Dress Shopping 101

You guys – I SAID YES TO THE DRESS!!!!!!! It’s so surreal, but I picked up my wedding dress yesterday and ( yet again ) it was something that made this entire process feel SO MUCH MORE REAL!!

If you caught my InstaStory this weekend, then you already know I picked up my dress from Lovely Bride in Pasadena. I cannot recommend this boutique enough! They have the dreamiest brands, and it’s such a magical place to try dresses on.

Obviously you’re going to have to wait for my big day to see photos of the dress I chose, but I wanted to write a post on this topic because like everything else I’m learning throughout this process, picking a dress is not always the easiest decision for some brides.

After months of my own experiences surrounding my wedding dress, there are a few things worth chatting about.

Let’s talk budget.

It should come as no surprise that your wedding dress will most likely be one of the biggest purchases you’ve made to-date. Unless you’re a homeowner, bought your own car, or a connoisseur of the lux life, then chances are when you think about taking the plunge on one item of clothing that can range from $2k-$3k+ is going to be very anxiety inducing. Shoot – even if you DO own all of the above already, it’s still somewhat frustrating to think about spending some serious cash on an item of clothing you’ll wear ONE TIME, for just a few hours.

At least this is what was going on in my head when I tried on *the dress* for the first time.

I went into Lovely Bride back in December with my sights set on one dress. I knew from the moment I saw it online that it was going to be my wedding dress, so that helped a lot with the process from the beginning.

What I didn’t consider was how I would feel once I actually looked at the price tag.

A few things to think about when budgeting for your perfect dress: 

• Stalk your favorite designer online to see when they’ll be having trunk shows in your area. Chances are they will also be offering a discount this day.
  • PRO TIP – go in and try on the dress BEFORE the trunk show, that way if you DO want to take the plunge and purchase it during a trunk show, you won’t feel like you’re jumping the gun just to save a few extra dollars. I went into Lovely Bride during a trunk show for my wedding dress designer, and though I did end up purchasing the first dress I tried on – I still wasn’t comfortable leaving with it that day since I hadn’t tried on very many dresses to compare it to.

• If you found *the one* but the discount at the trunk show still wasn’t enough to cater to your budgeting needs, shop around for the dress at secondhand wedding boutiques online! Here are 4 amazing ones that come up with a simple google search:
  • Preowned Wedding Dresses
  • Still White
  • Nearly Newlywed
  • Once Wed
    • PRO TIP: Even if you can’t find your dress on any of these sites (check Tradesy and Etsy too!) consider purchasing your gown full price and then reselling it yourself after the big day! Then you will be able to have your cake and eat it too 😉

Budgets aren’t the only thing that mess with your head while trying dresses on. And you know I’m going to be real with you…because I always am.

In my opinion, this whole wedding process leaves peoples’ minds in the clouds. Either they’re downright obsessed with weddings, OR they romanticize their memories.

Which makes sense – we all do that! No matter how hard something was, as time goes on we tend to remember the good things that came from it.

It seemed like everyone I talked to about wedding dress shopping had the same story to tell. “When I put on THE ONE, I just KNEW. It was so emotional, I cried, everyone who was with me cried, etc etc etc.” 

But you know what? That was not my experience at all. AND THAT IS PERFECTLY OKAY.

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.

I think we need to start being brutally honest about more things in the wedding industry. It is not all cupcakes and peonies. It’s a lot more stress over how you’re going to afford it, how you’re going to make 32042 decisions in the few months you have to plan, what family may or may not be making an appearance, etc.

There are so many more emotions tied to this day than we talk about.

In my experience, the wedding dress hunt was not necessarily an emotional experience.

I went into the day with my mom, nana and sister knowing exactly what dress I wanted. When I put it on for the first time it was more of an “okay here is the dress I want, what do you think, how does it look?” It wasn’t a rush of emotions. Instead, it was a rush of “is this too much to spend on a dress? Is it REALLY the dress I want for MYSELF? Will it photograph well? Will I be comfortable in it all day / night? I looked at this process more analytical than emotional.

Looking back, I think that’s what solidified the decision for me. I wasn’t emotionally making a decision – I was making it based on facts that backed up my desire for the dress.

Yet due to the stories I chose to believe from others experiences, I was supposed to be emotional. If I didn’t shed a tear, maybe it wasn’t the one after all?

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not adding to the noise of telling you how you’re supposed to feel in your moment. I’m just here to remind you that HOWEVER you find yourself feeling in that moment is unique to you and your process. There is no right or wrong. There are no rules to this game.

Take in the moment and savor it for what it is, and try to cut through whatever noise is going on in your head. If you feel good, and the dress makes you feel good, and you can’t stop thinking about it, then go for it.

Saying YES to the dress.

Like I mentioned, I tried on my dream dress in December. It was the first wedding dress I had ever tried on (aside from my mother’s) so I didn’t feel comfortable making the purchase that day. I wanted to make absolutely sure that everything I had ever considered via Pinterest was off the table completely.

• Make as many appointments as you damn well please. What I didn’t know about trying dresses on is that the 1 hour time limit they put on your appointment is a HARD time limit. Meaning, even if you’re on the fence and want to retry on a dress you may want to buy that day, they are going to rush you. Granted, they don’t make you feel like you have to make a decision that day, but if you’re feeling indecisive, they will not sit there and let you mull it over with a glass of champagne. The magic stops as soon as your hour is up.
  • PRO TIP: Try on as many dresses as possible in your first appointment. If you like 1 or 2 dresses but want to take your time, make a follow up appointment where you can hang out in those dresses for an extended amount of time. Come back with just 1 person to limit the opinions of others, OR come back with your most opinionated bridesmaids. Whatever works for YOU, do that. Don’t let the 1 hour time limit get to you.
• I visited 2 boutiques and tried on about 10 dresses before making my purchase on the first dress I tried on at Lovely Bride. The only other boutique I was set on visiting was Grace Loves Lace, which was a great experience but to be honest I hated every dress on my body. The dresses are STUNNING, but I only liked them from the back. Which obviously wasn’t going to work. BUT, I was SO happy that I tried on all the dresses I had saved on Pinterest. Even if I did strike out, there was no room for wondering what if?
• The way I really knew I had found the one was simply because every time I tried on another dress, I pointed out what I didn’t like and compared it to the dress I ended up with. I wasn’t even necessarily sold on it at the time ( or at least I didn’t realize it yet ), but when I took notice to the fact that I kept going back to it, that’s when I knew.
• My last piece of advice is to be cognizant of your timeline, but don’t let the stress of that force your decision. There are ways to rush wedding dresses (at a price), and I actually ended up getting my dress 2 months before they projected it would be ready for pickup.

At the end of the day, it always works out just as it should.

YOUR process is going to be different than your best friend’s process, and that is how it should be.

This is your time, your money, your dress – don’t worry about anyone or anything else.

It will be your own kind of magic, and you will be a vision.